I woke up the other morning to the 7:00 BBC news and heard a report on an executive who not only told a large portion of his employees to stop whining about the pandemic, but (added the British accented BBC reporter) he also called the company's training on unconscious bias "complete crap". I woke up laughing my ass off. Now there's a guy who doesn't have a good filter! I told you in a previous post that I have learned to shut up rather than open my mouth and let the crap fall out. It may be insensitive, but I think this executive needs some "keep your complete crap to yourself" training.
Words are interesting things. When we were growing up, family words make it into our lexicon from various sources. Mispronunciations. Mistakes. Smart ass comments. Creativity. My sister created a mixture of canned chili and Franco American Spaghetti-O's which she called "Spa-chili". I read a lot and knew many more words than I could properly pronounce. Another reason to shut up. When one pronounces "impotent" as "in-potent" [which actually makes some sense] and "clandestine" as "candle-stein" one's friends who can talk better will make fun. So, added to that was long dialogs of Monty Python sketches in fantastic British Accents, or we thought so, lines from Psycho 2 "Cu-cu-cutlery" and Katharine Hepburn's Lion in Winter speech, "I'd hang them from the nipples but I'd shock the children." and Prince Geoffrey's: "I know. You know I know. I know you know I know. We know Henry knows, and Henry knows we know it. We're a knowledgeable family." With the smug little grin, of course. I was faster saying other people lines than words of my own. Unless I was singing them. My sister and mom spoke faster than I could, so I ended up listening a lot.
What is it with accents. No matter where anyone is from, they don't think they have a accent. And if someone has an accent, why do they seem so much more interesting? So exotic. Growing up watching imported British programming, it's a wonder I think the accents are still interesting and exotic. But they are. And so many variations throughout Great Britain and the English speaking, non-American, world. Just in the British Isles and Ireland we could hear the smooth BBC accent, the Beatles Liverpool, the very-hard-to-imitate Cornwall, accents from Northern England, the Scottish cadence which could become hard to understand and the lilting, musical accent from Wales. Our grandmother's mother came from County Cork in Ireland, so we found the Irish accent even more interesting. If there are variations within Ireland, our ears couldn't really pick them out. Or all Irish actors are from the same area. I did take German and a little French in High School, but really am crap with languages. I tend to mix them up and end up with phrases such as, "Guten Tag, Monsieur, que pasa?" Any port in a storm. My parents took German in College and all my mom really remembered was, "Ich bin ein Stück Papier" which translates to "I am piece of paper". I guess not all that helpful of a phrase.
There are many more accented English language speakers, Australians, South Africans, those who's English is accented to American ears, and accents that are non-native English speakers speaking English. This may be true of South African speakers who's first language may not have been English. And someone from Wales, Scotland or Ireland could certainly make a case for English being their second language. I asked an Australian citizen if there were differences in the Australian accents around the country, like there are in America. He said not. Or perhaps not so pronounced. The beauty of America accents is we have, over the years, become home to people from all over the world. Different areas of the United States became home to different groups of immigrants that, being people, tended to herd together in familiar groups. The accent variation comes from the non-English speakers pronouncing English through the filter of their original languages. And then people started moving around. People in Michigan and Illinois can sound like they are from Mississippi, Alabama or Georgia. Our aunt was from South (North?) Carolina and we loved hearing her talk over the phone. What a lovely accent. New Yorkers moving down to Florida with their accents to join the Florida population than sounds rather Southern to my ears and the Cuban accented English from those immigrants. Unlike the New Yorkers who retired to Florida to get out of the snow, our Scandinavians tended towards familiar climates such as Wisconsin [my Norwegian family] or Minnesota.
I have a theory about weather and human emotions, not based on anything remotely scientific. Our ancestors from colder areas tend to not express anger. They brood silently and are passive-aggressive. Our ancestors from warmer countries tend to be more expressive and express their anger more openly. My theory is, if you are in Norway in the middle of winter, you better brood silently if you are ticked off at your spouse. If you fight and then slam the door on your way out of the house, it's likely you'll freeze to death before your anger cools. It's adaptive survival.
Although it's unfortunate about my languages deficiency, it's lovely to hear another language spoken if you don't have a clue what the person is saying. English directions to put together a piece of equipment can sound totally poetic and rather hot said in French or Spanish. And foreign-language swear words can be delightfully fun. As well as rude gestures. You can Google rude hand gestures from around the world and find out what you can use to insult citizens in their own countries. Of course, the idea is to NOT accidently make a gesture that insults your guest country's population. Interestingly enough, my Australian friend said he and his mates use the word "cunt" as a casual greeting. To them, it doesn't mean much. His mom had to warn him not to use that word that way in the States. One of the few words I'm offended by. I don't know why I should be, particularly. A harsh, negative curse for a body part I have? Calling someone a dick sound so much more fun and positive, as insults go. I try not to use God's name as a swear word, either. I think it hurts His feelings to have His name used as a swear word. I wouldn't like my name used as a swear. Sort of reminds me of when my mom used all three of my names, first middle and last, when she was angry at me. Yeah, everyone's mom does that. My husband said he thought his first name was Dammit when he was s a kid. Seriously. Well maybe he wasn't totally serious.
Some YouTube accent swear word exploration:
Australian reacts to 50 American accents
US / UK / Aussie / South African English Pronunciation Differences (Same Language, Four Accents)
And the classic: George Carlin - 7 Words You Can't Say On TV
Don't bother watching George Carlin with the close captions. They censor half the 7 words.
Euphemisms. The two topics with the most euphemisms seem to be death and having a bowel movement. Neither of which most people want to deal with or know what to say about. You can say, "She died". Clear and not a lot of room for interpretation. You can be more gentle and say, "Passed on", "Passed away". Listen to the Monty Python Parrot Sketch:
Mr. Praline: "VOOM"?!? Mate, this bird wouldn't "voom" if you put four million volts through it! 'E's bleedin' demised!
Owner: No no! 'E's pining!
Mr. Praline: 'E's not pinin'! 'E's passed on! This parrot is no more! He has ceased to be! 'E's expired and gone to meet 'is maker! 'E's a stiff! Bereft of life, 'e rests in peace! If you hadn't nailed 'im to the perch 'e'd be pushing up the daisies! 'Is metabolic processes are now 'istory! 'E's off the twig! 'E's kicked the bucket, 'e's shuffled off 'is mortal coil, run down the curtain and joined the bleedin' choir invisible!! THIS IS AN EX-PARROT!!
There are gentle euphemisms, religious euphemisms, crude euphemisms, country and community specific euphemisms, medical euphemisms. We are told when you talk to children about the death of something or someone, do not use euphemisms. If you aren't clear someone is dead, a child will interpret "gone" or "passed" literally and ask when the person is coming back. It doesn't make it hurt any less and the person is just as dead even if you call it something else.
Having a poop, a shit, a bowel movement. Is there any word for it that isn't a euphemism? Medical definition: def·e·ca·tion (def'ĕ-kā'shŭn), "The discharge of feces from the rectum." Huh? So convoluted you are not really sure what is happening. If you don't know what defecation, feces and rectum are, it might as well be saying, "Your car blew smoke out of it's tail pipe." I was moving one time and cracked up the med tech helping us because I had labeled one of the boxes with mixing bowls and dishes, "Bowels". No spell check writing on a carboard box.
All the euphemisms here are not to gently mention the subject, but to avoid embarrassment or get as crude as possible. The nouns: shit, poop, doo-doo, crap, feces. The active verbs shitting, pooping, crapping. No "fece-ing", though. And the phrases range from the demure, "Visit the ladies room" to "Take a dump". The most colorful, creative phrases I've heard come from my husband who works construction. They "take a dump" "make a foreman" "lay a log". Very active, somewhat work related descriptions. You want more? Here's a website for you: 69 Euphemisms for Pooping My new favorites from that list include, "Drop the kids off at the pool" and "the Barbarians are at the gate".
So if you are in the middle of watching BBC America and eating spachili and think you are going to "push up the daisies" if you don't "Cook a butt burrito", don't feel im-potent! You may only have to fart. Have gas. Pass wind. OK, that last ones a little creepy when you think Pass is one of the death euphemisms. So I may not talk fast or know how to spell, but I sure have "writer's diarrhea".
EM
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